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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?